Chapter One

"Amira, you will be late for school!" Ummah kept saying at the top of her voice.

"Haba, Ummah, it’s just 7:29AM, and a drive to school won’t even take 10 minutes," I said.

"Can you hear this silly girl?" she shot back. "It seems your Abbah now owns the road and there won’t be any traffic, bah?"

I wasn’t even paying attention to her as my mind was carried away.

"Looking for something?" Salim, my older brother, cut my search short.

Salim is the only son of Alhaji and Hajiya Mai Dawo. They treated him like he was the only blessed child given to them, forgetting they have a beautiful daughter called Amira. But, as the culture is centered, only a male child seems to be more important than a female. Even though many things have changed, the cultural aspect still remains as everything is still steeped in tradition here.

"No, I’m not," I said quickly. But in truth, I was on the lookout for Ubeid. He had promised to drop me off at school for my statement of result, an important document for my admission into the university. But he was nowhere to be found in the living room. Ubeid is like an older brother to me too, but I recently stopped seeing him that way. He had been living with us ever since his dad, Abbah’s older brother, died. He became Abbah’sresponsibility. Ever since, he’s spent most of his time in his room and usually doesn’t play with me like he used to when we were younger. Just like Salim, he has turned into a “big boy,” and they no longer see me on their level because they are already in university. In sha Allah, I will be joining them soon.

I recently started thinking about him more than I should and even began paying attention to the things he likes and does. I even intentionally sat outside in the garden pretending to read a book he likes a lot, titled The Color Purple, just to catch his attention when he comes by the garden to read too. I have tried to take my mind off the fact that I might be into him, as he is my older cousin and such relationships are forbidden. Even if the world is in support, definitely not Ummah.

The last time a relative married another relative of ours, Ummah didn’t even attend the wedding, and she severed all ties with them. It scares me that she might do the same if such a thing were to happen between me and Ubeid. Maybe it’s just infatuation or something else, and not love."If it’s Ubeid you’re looking out for, he’s not home, so you better find your way to school without him because the driver is waiting outside," Salimwhispered and chuckled.

His little laugh—I couldn’t explain it, but how did he know Ubeid had offered to drop me off at school? Those were my thoughts, but I didn’t ask, so as not to draw Ummah’s attention, who was now focused on her cell phone, unconcerned about my lateness. I left angrily and disappointed for school that morning. I had taken all the time in the world to get dressed just so he would give a compliment or look at me in a way that might mean something, but he turned me down without even giving me a heads-up. No one gave me a compliment—not Salim, who isn’t one to do so, but Ummah too! Gaskiya, these people don’t really care for my feelings, I thought.