Anxiety and I, two contrasting beings

We thrive on confined freedom, 

Anxiety always told me that it knew what I wanted from the start

It wanted to hold my hand in every stressful day

To keep me safe, to make me feel special 

Instead, it kept me on my toes

To see things I could never see with my naked eyes

Things that were never there in the first place

It drains the life out of me, leaving only an empty shell that roams the earth

A mop cannot wipe away the mess caused by my anxiety.

I unknowingly help it thrive by listening to its lies

I cannot shake it off my mind 

You can say that I have fallen too deep into its darkness

I stay awake all night, searching for a cure to this pain

I am young but Anxiety makes me look older

I remember when I stood under a stage light

Anxiety spun my mind with tales of doubt and lies

It told me I was disgusting and I should shut up

No one wanted to hear my voice

It told me to be who I was not or I would never be accepted

People would think it was the society I was raised in

They smeared society with black ink but only I knew the truth

Anxiety is the true villain

All it wanted was to control me

It would come into my mind uninvited, in different forms

It thought it was helping me but it worsened me and my life

I can't take it anymore

No remedy can take it away from it

No can say they had battled with Anxiety and won

It only leaves me with one unfortunate but everlasting solution 

A knife to my chest, deep into my heart would end my suffering 

Anxiety begs me not to desert it

It tells me its lies, over and over again 

But it never knew what I wanted from the start

I think that I have finally defeated it

Even though this is not how it should have been