Grief? Loss? Sorrow?
You can never truly, fully empathize with someone at this phase. You can say a few kind words and encourage the person sure but you can never fully understand. It’s a ‘till you experience it” thing. I knew this.

When Tony died, I couldn’t see his mum because honestly I didn’t know what to tell her. What do I say that she hasn’t heard before?  He was a childhood friend.

When Lucius lost his dad, I was there to extend my condolences with a warm handshake. He welcomed us with an okay smile on his face. That was it, empathy as best as I could but I never understood.  He was a childhood friend.

When Ebube lost his mother, It hit me, for a week or two, I was hit with grief mostly regret. Why didn’t I didn’t call her all these while? If only I could tell her I’m sorry for not calling. She was my god mother.

When Rose lost her brother, she reached out to me and I tried my best to encourage her but it was not enough. I haven’t experienced loss before, the best I had come close was my godmother. 

When Swampy lost her father, I tried my best as a friend. I never understood how she felt.

Then July 16th 2024, the cold hands of death hit home. It took my father. Alas I knew exactly how my friends felt at the time of their grief. I knew the emotion behind every, “I’m fine, its well, Amen, thank you”. I understand now.

I don’t know how to cry, tears doesn’t come easy for me. In its place is anger. In that anger, I find strength. My father’s memory gives me solace. He lived and I will keep his memory alive. That’s a promise. Big shoes to fill. I hope i'm i become twice the man he was.💯