It was a quiet Tuesday morning at the hospital, the weather was cloudy, seems like is about to rain. The kind of quiet weather was welcoming to me as a seasoned doctor. You see, when things are too quiet, it usually means chaos is brewing. Probably I was sighted sitted in my office  room 152 enjoying a bottle of soft drink and watching and listening to the news on the television.

Mr. Igebu a regular visitor and local conspiracy theorist enters. He once insisted his left foot was haunted. This time, he showed up clutching his stomach and wearing an expression that said it all.

“Doctor,” Igebu whispered dramatically as he entered, “I think I swallowed a lizard in my sleep.”

Now, I’ve heard many things as a doctor. I've had patients complain of their eyeballs being too loud, and one who swore she felt a snake patrolling inside her stomach. But a lizard? That wasn't new though.

I took a breath as I asked him what makes you think you swallowed a lizard?

He sat up solemnly, like he was about to deliver a TED Talk on digestive reptiles as if we were in a seminar presentation. Mr igebu answered with "I woke up feeling something squirming,” he said, eyes wide. “And then I burped... and it hissed.”

I laughed, I began my examination. His vitals were fine, and there was no sign of reptilian activity on the ultrasound, unless geckos have become experts in stealth.

Still, to ease his mind, I suggested an X-ray as I summoned the hospital radiographer, Igebu dramatically prepared himself like he was heading into surgery for alien extraction or better still kidney transplant.

When the results came back normal, I informed him gently and professionally “Mr. Igebu there was no lizard in your belly as you complained, just a bit of gas.” I knew all these but as well wanted to make him understand more better by requesting for an X-ray.

He squinted. “Are you sure doctor ?" Could be a ninja lizard. Very sneaky.”

I laughed.

I gave him some antacids to take and a pat on the back. “If it starts doing backflips, give me a call os better still come meet me”

He left looking both relieved and mildly disappointed.

Later that day, I heard him in the waiting room telling a nurse, “The doctor says it’s gas. But I know a lizard when I burp one.”

Ah, medicine. The science, the mystery… the reptiles.

It was never a dull day at the hospital.