Joshua had always been an honest guy, everybody knew that. It might not sound like a big deal to you, but when you live in a city so corrupt that even the air seems thick with the transgressions of its citizens, being an honest person was a major achievement.

A lot of people thought he was just being stupid, but Joshua was convinced that one could live in Rome and not do as the Romans do, or in this case, live in Lagos and not do as Lagosians do.

It was hard.

“Ko ni da fun e” was a phrase he was very familiar with. It was hurled at him by bus drivers when he stopped traffic by waiting for the light to turn green, it was accompanied by a longer stream of curses when he refused to give money to ‘the boys’, and it was always there when he exposed people’s dishonest plans. But always, always, he had managed to escape unharmed. This time however, that seemed very unlikely.

Segun, the man he had worked with for the past three years, stood in front of him holding a small, shiny dagger. The dagger itself looked sacred and old which made Joshua wonder what kind of mess he had gotten himself into. The handle was made out of a dark wood and had several carvings of what could only be the gods of Yoruba land. The metal of the blade was nearly black and glistened in the light of lamp that illuminated the dark room. If it wasn’t going to be the instrument of his death, Joshua would have thought the thing was beautiful.

“So na you tell Oga say we dey channel ‘im money, abi?” Segun snarled at him.

That was Joshua’s current problem. He worked in the finance department of a very successful firm on the Lagos Islands. The ‘Oga’ in question had given him the job because he was honest, dependable and all the other qualities that would make you trust your money with another soul. Two days ago, he noticed that the monthly financial statements were not balanced. After interrogating almost everyone in the office and tracing every transaction, he discovered that the culprit was Segun, who sat on the desk right beside him.

 Segun who came into the office everyday with a smile on his face. Segun who commended Joshua’s lifestyle on a daily basis. Segun who was brandishing a dagger dangerously close to Joshua’s eyes.

‘Is all this really necessary?” Joshua said with a nervous chuckle. His hands and feet were tied to the chair he was sitting on and his face was swollen from the kicks and blows of the thugs surrounding him. He didn’t even know where they were. The last thing he remembered was leaving for work like any other day, but before he had time to start his car, he felt something collide with the back of his head and everywhere went dark. When he opened his eyes hours later, his body was sore and his limbs tied.

Segun laughed. “He’s asking me if it’s necessary.” Then like clockwork, the other thugs started laughing too. Joshua knew he was cooked.

Segun suddenly grabbed Joshua’s already swollen jaw and looked him straight in the eyes.

“You think one million naira is small money?”

Joshua didn’t answer. He couldn’t. Any sound out of his mouth in this moment could mean his death. Segun let him go and moved away.

“Guy. One million naira! Do you know what that money can do for you?” Segun asked, letting out a frustrated groan. Joshua still didn’t speak. If he did, he’d tell this man that one million naira wouldn’t get you a lot of things in Lagos and that would make the already angry Segun even angrier.

At that moment, a phone rang in Segun’s pocket. He fished it out and put it to his ear. After a few words, he signaled to the thugs to stay alert and then left the room. As he was leaving, Joshua noticed for the first time that he was dressed the way he normally would to work. Was that the plan? Kill Joshua then go back to work like nothing happened?

But his shirt was white – white and neatly ironed, which meant he wasn’t planning on doing the killing himself. Joshua’s mind was working quickly. He looked round at all the thugs. There were only three in total and they weren’t very big. Joshua figured he was taller than two of them and probably stronger than the last who was tall and lanky. What kind of thugs were these anyway?

He could hear Segun coming back in. He had to think fast.

These thugs seemed less like thugs and more like paid actors. Joshua could tell from the way their faces held no malice at all, no anger, no hatred, just a kind of bored impatience.

He looked down at his own body. As far as he could tell, his face was the only part of him that was wounded and it was fairly mild. Lagos ‘agberos’ were never that kind. They either beat you to stupor so that you passed out from the pain, or wait for you to wake up before giving you the beating of your life. Which also brought up the issue of the miserable dagger. Who had ever heard of a Lagos thug using a beautiful dagger to murder someone? What happened to axes and machetes?

None of it made sense.

Joshua could still hear the sound of traffic if he listened closely which meant they were still in the city.

“So where were we?” Segun asked as he came back into the room. By this time, Joshua had pieced the puzzle together as best as he could, so he was fairly confident when he opened his mouth to speak.

“How is Oga?”

Segun froze with one hand still in his pocket returning the phone. He looked at Joshua and for a moment, Joshua’s courage faltered, but he kept his gaze.

“What’s my business with Oga?”

Segun’s defensiveness confirmed everything Joshua needed to know. The guards hadn’t moved an inch since he regained consciousness except when Segun laughed, the room smelt fresh like it was cleaned by a professional and not like the dusty vacuum of an abandoned building. The place was also unusually dark as if there was a blanket keeping the light out – or thick curtains. And why was it so important that he didn’t see the room at all? Because if he did, he would recognize it immediately because he was at work.

That would also explain why Segun was wearing a neatly pressed white shirt complete with a tie and suit trousers.

This was a prank.

Joshua spoke again. “Oga just called you to find out how everything is going.”

A deadly silence hung in the air for a full minute before Segun burst out laughing.  Someone flicked a switch and light flooded what Joshua recognized as the break room. As his eyes adjusted, he could make out the faces of Jerry from the Statistics department, Yusuf from Admin, and Bode from Finance. He sighed in relief and turned back to look at Kunle who was still laughing.

Yusuf came up to him and loosened the bonds on his hands and feet.

“I told them I didn’t want to do it oh.” He declared once Joshua was free.  “Haba Yusuf. No dey lie. You said you wanted to teach Joshua a lesson.”

The three men began arguing among themselves while Segun, whose bout of laughter had finally ended, walked up and put a reassuring hand on Joshua’s shoulder.

“The man at the top is very proud of you. I never stole any money, as you obviously figured out, and lemme be the first to tell you that you’ve passed the test.”