I came across a video of Jason Wilson, a popular coach of martial art and men's development. It was an eye opening podcast for me. I have been trying to process my feelings for a while now, a lot of feelings that I have tried to suppress because of what society has defined as masculinity.

The fear of failing, not being loved, loneliness and many more have been my thoughts lately and the video came in at the right time. Firstly, a message to fathers that doesn't give room for their male children's conversation or expression of their feelings because of the way you're being brought up. You're damaging the child's mental health because he will grow up to be that angry man, not responsible, not being able to suppress his feelings just like you.

We have situations where fathers grow old and they are being ignored by their children because there's no emotional connection between the child and the father. Men are defined by society to be fearless, bold , courageous and strong but they are given the room for them to grieve when they are tired which builds an unhealthy mindset that affects that behaviour.

Every child wants a parent that loves and adores them, even understands them more than anyone. 

The first love and genuine love start from the family and every child yearns for it. If you're a father reading this; try to understand your male child, give them room to be able to express themselves to you , and make them feel comfortable around you. If all this is done, trust me — your child will do better than you.

There's a big difference between masculinity and comprehensive man. Masculinity is when a man isn't allowed to be human being but human doing while a comprehensive man is someone that reflects , retains , rest and reset. Every man out there should be a comprehensive man and not masculine. It will not only affect your mental health but also ruin you totally.

As a young adult that wants to be a better version of yourself, learn to be yourself and don't allow the societal pressure to affect you in any way. Give room for crying and grieving. Speak to someone when you're down. Don't be that strong guy all the time. Give yourself a break. 

Lastly, Always love yourself – self love and self acceptance is really important. It gives you that assurance that no one can give you. One day everything will work out and you will be the man of the moment.

Yasir Abdulwasiu