*Whisper of Hope: A Journey from Despair to Renewal*

*By: Grace Agene*

_"To live without hope is to cease to live. Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul—and sings the tunes without the words—and never stops at all."_ - Emily Dickinson.

_"It's another month, and the previous month of my life hasn't been what I have asked from God. It has been one problem after another, disappointment upon disappointment; my health issues are not improving. I cannot believe all this is happening to me now. I am so exhausted from being in this situation,"_ Daniel reflected on his life, tears occasionally streaming down his face. For him, his world is crumbling, and if care is not taken, he might give in to the option of suicide, which has been sounding a bell in his head for the past three days. _"I need help, but who can render that help to me?"_ He has spoken to a few friends and priests but to no avail. It seems his end has come, and if care is not taken, he might end his life before the world claims it for him.

Some years back, Daniel thought he had everything under control. He was excelling academically, spiritually, and socially. One could say he had his life all planned out, with events leading smoothly to one another without any disruption. But what really happened that Daniel's life has taken such a different turn is something he cannot figure out. Things he usually did with ease are now his greatest fear. His prayers to God have become infrequent, and if he struggles to say a lengthy prayer, it is the holy Rosary, which he barely concentrates on, sometimes wondering if his prayers reach God at all. His academics are also suffering, as he hardly has the time to study due to his health issues, and if he does not pick himself up to study, he will be at the receiving end since exams are fast approaching.

All this started the day he received a heart-breaking text from his girlfriend's friend. He had spent three years of his life dating Shalom, who had promised a love and relationship that would last long and be there for him no matter what. Perhaps he trusted her because she appeared when he needed her the most. Daniel and Shalom had been friends before his previous relationship ended, and Shalom had been there for him until he healed from that heartbreak. She became tired of being just a "friend with benefits" and wanted something more. Daniel, seeing the green lights, made the move to make her his girlfriend. At first, their love story was everything anyone could wish for, but then life happened, and he was left to face the world alone, as usual. Shalom left him because she felt he wasn't good enough for her and didn't want to keep him when she knew their relationship wouldn't yield anything. This heartbreak left Daniel in total confusion, making him conclude that he wasn't good enough for his ex-girlfriend and possibly not good enough for the entire world.

This has made him question his existence and life: _"Where have I failed? Could it be my sin that God is holding against me and won't forgive and forget? Of course not, Daniel, stop thinking that way,"_ a calm voice within him cautioned. Remember, the book of the prophet Jeremiah, says, _"I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”_ (Jeremiah 31:33), God doesn't just forgive; He chooses not to remember.

Often, you have to wonder if the world has conspired against you, like, 'Where is the God who promised to answer when I call? Has He who created the ears stopped listening?' Sometimes you may wonder if God has abandoned you, just like in the case of Daniel. Far from that, always remember that just as He delivered the Israelites from bondage despite the delay, He will light up your face with a big smile. So, hold on for some time, and wake up every day with a new glimpse of hope and optimism. Remember that you are special and one of a kind, and for that reason, you alone can fulfil your destiny with the help of God. Know that you are not left to face this world alone. Life is a journey that should be embarked on with a backpack of hope and optimism.

And above all, pray when you're confused.

*Shalom* 🕊️