The Assignment That Terrified Me
What becoming a Production Manager taught me about leadership, patience, and believing in myself.
My name is “Charis”, a proud Film and Multimedia student who is constantly striving to learn, grow, and become better.
One day, I received a call asking if I could serve as the “Production Manager” for a film production. My first reaction wasn't excitement—it was fear. I knew how demanding the role of a Production Manager could be. Coordinating departments, following up on tasks, communicating with everyone, and ensuring that things run smoothly is no small responsibility. I hesitated and simply replied, “Alright... let me get back to you.”
After I dropped the call, my mind became a battlefield. I kept asking myself, *"Can I really do this? What if I don't deliver well? I've never been a Production Manager before?"* The thoughts wouldn't stop. But after thinking for a while, I came to one conclusion: "if I never gave myself the opportunity to try, I would never know what I was capable of." I had worked in different departments during previous productions, and I wanted to challenge myself by doing something different. So, I chose to say “yes”.
A few days later, I called him back. I thanked him for believing in me and told him I was honoured that he thought of me for such a responsibility. I accepted the role and promised to do my best. He sounded genuinely happy and informed me that we'd be having our first production meeting the following week.
Ironically, the moment I ended that call, the fear returned. I kept wondering if I had made the right decision. But I reminded myself that I wasn't taking the role because I already knew everything; I was taking it because I wanted to learn.
The meeting day finally arrived. Everyone contributed their ideas, but throughout the meeting, one question kept echoing in my mind: “Can I really do this?” Perhaps my nervousness was obvious because after the meeting, the producer walked over to me, pulled a chair close, looked directly into my eyes and said something I'll never forget.
"I don't see someone who can't do it. I see someone who is capable. I know you've never done this before, but I can already see you doing it. Do you know why I called you? Because I believe in you. I believe in your strength. You've got this."
He smiled and walked away.
For a few moments, I just sat there in silence. Those words stayed with me. Sometimes, all it takes is one person believing in you before you begin believing in yourself.
I embraced the responsibility wholeheartedly. I followed up with different departments, collected updates, reminded everyone about meetings, communicated deadlines, and made sure information got to the producer. Even while doing all these things, I still felt like I wasn't doing enough. Leadership has a way of making you question yourself, even when you're trying your best.
Then came the day that almost broke me.
We had another general meeting, and as the Production Manager, I was expected to open the floor. I stood up to speak, but my words didn't come out the way I wanted. Some people murmured. Some shook their heads. Before I could gather myself, one of the crew members suggested that I should allow him to speak instead.
At that moment, I felt completely embarrassed. Tears had already started forming in my eyes. All I could think was, “Why did I even accept this role? I should have just stayed with what I knew.” I had only wanted to try something new, but it suddenly felt like I had made the biggest mistake.
As the production continued, another challenge arose. The Production Design department failed to submit an important document before the deadline. The producer expressed his disappointment and even mentioned removing them from the production. Shortly afterwards, accusations started flying in the crew group chat. One person claimed she had already submitted the document because I had reacted to her message. I calmly explained that what I had acknowledged was her budget breakdown, not the complete document that was required.
Instead of arguing, I gathered everything, apologised to the producer for the delay, and asked for clarification on whether I should be the one forwarding such documents after vetting. He confirmed that I should. That conversation reminded me that leadership is not just about giving instructions; it's also about seeking clarity and taking responsibility.
Throughout this project, I learned that not everyone you work with will be mature. Some people will test your patience. Some will misunderstand you. Others may be rude, childish, disrespectful, or simply unwilling to cooperate. There were moments I wanted to react, defend myself, or respond to certain comments.
But I discovered that not every situation deserves a reaction.
Sometimes, silence is not weakness.
Sometimes, professionalism is choosing peace over proving a point.
“Silence became my killer code.” Not because I had nothing to say, but because I realised that every response doesn't deserve my energy. Some battles are won through wisdom, self-control, and knowing when to simply walk away.
This journey taught me that leadership is more than coordinating people. It is remaining calm when others lose theirs, accepting correction without giving up, learning from mistakes, and continuing to show up even when you doubt yourself.
Looking back, I'm grateful I accepted that phone call. It wasn't because I was fully prepared. It was because I was willing to learn. I didn't become a perfect Production Manager overnight, but I became someone who was willing to grow, listen, improve, and keep moving despite fear.
“Growth doesn't begin when you're confident. It begins the moment you decide to show up despite your fears.”
Looking back now, I'm grateful I said "yes" to something that terrified me, because somewhere along the journey, I discovered a version of myself I had never met before.
— Charis
