I woke up that morning feeling like a brand-new human being. You know that rare kind of motivation that shows up once every three months? Yes, that one.

“Today,” I told myself, “I will be responsible.”

First mistake.

I made a to-do list. A serious one. Not the usual “maybe I’ll do it” kind. This one had bullets, sub bullets, and even timing. I even drank warm water like all those “successful people” on the internet.

By 8:00 AM, I was already proud of myself.

By 8:30 AM… things started going downhill.

I decided to “quickly” check my phone before starting my tasks. Just five minutes, I said.

Next thing I knew, I was deep into a video of a man teaching his goat how to climb a ladder.

A GOAT.

Climbing a LADDER.

And somehow, I watched part 1, part 2, and “goat falls but tries again (emotional).”

At 10:15 AM, I finally dropped my phone.

“Focus!” I shouted, like I was in a movie.

I opened my laptop, ready to work… then remembered I was hungry.

“How can I be productive on an empty stomach?” I reasoned, like a scholar.

So I went to the kitchen.

One slice of bread turned into two. Two turned into bread and egg. Bread and egg turned into tea. Tea turned into me standing in front of the fridge, just staring… like the answer to life was hiding behind the vegetables.

By the time I returned, my “productive mood” had expired.

Still, I refused to give up. I opened my laptop again.

This time, I actually started working… for 7 minutes.

Then NEPA took light.

I sat there in silence.

No fan. No WiFi. Just me and my life choices.

At that moment, I knew… responsibility was not my calling.

So I did what any reasonable person would do.

I slept.

When I woke up, it was evening. I looked at my to-do list… untouched.

I nodded slowly and said, “Tomorrow will be better.”

It’s been 3 weeks.

Tomorrow has not yet come.