You often hear people say, “When you get to Rome, act like the Romans.” It sounds simple enough—until you find yourself in a situation you are not used to, or have never been used to.
And it makes you wonder: if the tables were turned, would the person saying it be able or even willing to act like the Romans?
Most times, we are quick to throw this statement at people without stopping to think about how difficult it actually is to adjust. The uneasiness. The pressure to fit in. The confusion. The silent struggle to blend into something completely new.
We rarely pause to consider how they feel while trying to adapt in uncomfortable situations. Instead, we expect immediate change—as though it is something you can simply step into like a ready-made outfit.
And when they struggle, we get frustrated. Not just because they haven’t changed, but because they didn’t change quickly enough. We dismiss their feelings, label their struggles as excuses, and often refuse to listen or understand what they are going through.
But the truth is, adaptation is not always easy. People process change differently. What is simple for one person may be overwhelming for another.
So maybe the question is not just, “Why haven’t they changed?” but also, “Have I ever tried to understand what this change feels like from their side?”
And so I ask again—if the tables were turned, would you do the same?