why am i seen as nothing more than a subject of his fantasies ?

An object of gratification, forced to endure the painstaking process of conforming to his desires to keep him around. meanwhile, all the things I desire are not as important. I put him before myself like I did the others before him. shameless, am i not ? indeed, I am not. I enjoy the warmth of his breath grazing the back of my neck, his strong scent, the way his fingers dance across my skin, I relish every moment but is it selfish of me to wish for a connection beyond that ? beyond the physical. our souls intertwined. I wish for him to want me. I wish for more. I wish. . .

-friddah