Hi, I know that you are thinking it's "you" again,

I'm sorry, I know I only come around when I'm deep in the end

Like when I'm down, sick or when my insides are dead.

There's just so much much to say I don't even know where to begin,

I'm in the deep ends again and I'm not winning.

But you ain't going no where so I guess there's time,

So I'll sit right here and begin the rhyme.

She was my closest friend, I thought she was my ride or die,

But when I needed her, when push came to shove she'd hit the fast lane.

I swear it broke my heart,tore that shit to pieces,

Left me breathless, shattered and wheezing.

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse,

Some crazy shit came around and left me in a pause.

I'm sitting here, in the cold dark night downing this vodka hoping I'd at least get a buzz,

But when the high doesn't feel real enough I'ma just take a puff.

Anything to get my mind of this crazy ride we call life

Forgive me for sounding so negative but it's hard to see the good side of life when you're homeless.

When all your thoughts drive you mad, almost senseless.

I swear I'm trying my best, but my best is just not good enough.

Like when we were kids and all I wanted to do you was catch up to you.

I never did, 15 years on you still cross that finish line first.

Even when it's the race of death.

I'm staring at your gravestone wondering why you left me behind.

Even back then, you always left me in the sands.

Yes, I remember what you always said "Focus on the present forgot about the past ".

But if we're being honest, the past's alot better than the present.

We just never notice it at that point.

I mean, how could I smile when I barely have enough food to last me a mile.

When I scavenge for food from the dumpster,

I don't think I can get any lower than this, I'm such a loser.

These thoughts have me in a chock hold,

It's got such a grip of me I know I can't break out, I'm not that bold.

It's funny right?

I'm such a pitiful sight.

I cry so much my heart feels heavy,

I can barely talk now, my hands are shaking.

I'm trembling from the inside,

I'm a prisoner to this pain, I'm so blind.

I'm stuck in a bind,

I don't know what to do now and that's no lie.

For now I'll just lay on your gravestone,

Simply wishing I wasn't born.

I'm grateful for your friendship,

Even from beyond death's grip.

For listening to me when you didn't have to,

Though if we are both being honest,you have nothing else to do.

I hope this conversation was entertaining,

I'm not sure if the dead do any gaming.

As I swallow this pills and shiver till my fingers turn blue,

I realize this night I might be joining you soon.