I don't think we all understand how a mood switch works, we all talk about mood swings but I prefer the word "switch". Why? Think of a light bulb. When you press the switch, the light comes on almost immediately, when you turn it off, it goes dark, just as fast. Well, that's how my mood works. I could be happy one moment and the next, it's gone. No warning, nothing.
Most times, I can’t even explain what I’m feeling. It frustrates my family and me too, and honestly, I understand why. But I can’t blame them, and I can’t blame myself either, because it feels out of my control.
The only time I felt truly understood was in secondary school. My classmates didn’t fully understand what was going on with me, but they respected my need for space and they knew when to come around.
I often preferred to be alone or stay quiet. I never feel the need to speak or respond to anyone or anything, in an African home, that kind of behavior is easily labeled as rudeness, and I still get called rude for it but I withdraw anyway.
When my mood switches, I feel irritated, disconnected, and uninterested in any kind of conversation. I isolate myself because I don’t want to transfer aggression to anyone, i hate when people do that to me, so I try not to do it to others. Personally, I feel there are signs if one is observant: the silence, the change in body language. To me, body language matters.
Unfortunately, not everyone understands this. Instead of reading the signs, they push for interaction. And when you finally snap, you're labeled rude not because you wanted to be, but because your silence was misunderstood.
