Have you ever told yourself after some experiences and the realisation that people's behavior isn't always constant, that you would never be surprised by what people do or say, only to be completely stunned by those same things? Yep, that's me, and it would seem like I've been trying to find out if I'm alone on a couple of things lately.

I had a conversation with a friend last week about something that happened with my dad that got me really upset, and he reminded me that parents and (their) children always have misunderstandings, which is normal. It's a typical occurrence when there's more than one person in a space. Somewhere during the conversation, it dawned on me that the same way most children feel that makes them retreat to their rooms or go silent when they have disagreements or misunderstandings with their parents is probably the exact same way parents feel. Well, maybe not exactly the same, but you get what I'm saying. I know the apology usually comes from the child in most cases, but that doesn't mean parents don't feel bad about some of their outbursts of anger or how they handled certain situations knowing they could have done better. It also doesn't mean we don't upset them, too🥺. We do and don't even realise it sometimes, the same thing we complain about our parents for😂.

It made me figure out the reason why I somehow ended up being shocked in those instances was because I had my expectations too high. I expected too much without even knowing it, and I saw some people as perfect. But the truth is, no matter how "perfect" someone is, it doesn't stop them from stepping on your toes every once in a while. And not because they like it, but because it's part of life and it happens to everyone. I've hurt people I care most about and claim to have their best interests at heart, too. One thing though, it really helps when we understand that we're fallen humans, meaning we're bound to make mistakes and don't always get things right. When you remember that, you realise that people also have high expectations of you, not like they always should, but they do and sometimes we perform less than they expect or act out of character and let them down. People are also dealing with my baggage, not just me dealing with theirs. So we really all are picking each others' fallen pieces, trying to mend each other in the best way possible. We're responsible for each other. So my friend's or a stranger's poor behaviour doesn't mean I should equally behave badly or justify my reason for wanting to behave badly. And this is not in any way to say that people should not try to live respectfully and responsively by creating boundaries for themselves on how they behave and react to situations. What I'm trying to say is, it helps to remember that we are human, and sometimes our humanity gets/will get the best of us, which is why we need the Holy Spirit to teach us self-control. It shows up in the most unexpected way possible, but what matters is our response to those situations, and being the change we desire to see.

I've learnt over time that change starts with the man who wants to see a change and chooses to make the change himself by leading an example of what he wants to see in others. It's much easier to emulate someone with good character who doesn't bark than to change from something you're preached at for. The latter makes you defensive and less likely to change. In essence, my behaviour should be consistent with the things I say. No need for excess talk. Actions speak louder than words, right? So be the change you desire to see. Whatever type of life you lead, live out your beliefs, regardless of whether others see value in it enough to imbibe it.