If anybody told me that this year would turn my life into a full Nollywood drama, I would have laughed and walked away. But look at me now main character, supporting cast, soundtrack, everything joined together. My life has turned into one long episode with no advert break.
It all started one random Saturday morning. I woke up with the innocent intention of minding my business, drinking water, and staying moisturized. Next thing, life said, “Plot twist!”
My phone rang. It was my friend Tolu. She didn’t even greet me. She just screamed, “Babe, dress up! We need to go out!”
In my mind I said, “Which kind of wahala is this?” But because I’m a loyal friend with questionable decision-making skills, I followed her.
That’s how we entered Lagos traffic that moved slower than a pregnant snail. My spirit was already tired. But Tolu said we needed “fresh air.” Fresh air that required eyelashes and lip gloss. Suspicious.
When we finally reached the place, I saw food, music, and somebody’s son giving me side-eyes. My first instinct? Face front. My second instinct? Adjust wig.
The boy fine, not too tall, just the right height for sweet romance. But you see me? I’ve suffered too many heartbreaks to fall for random fine boys again. So I maintained my distance like NEPA holding light.
But that was not the real drama. The real drama came when rain started,with no warning, no thunder, no trailer. Just one GBOA! and everywhere scatter.
People were running, food was flying, lashes were falling. A girl beside me screamed, “MY HAIR IS HUMAN HAIR O!” Meanwhile her hair was shedding like a tired chicken.
Before I knew what was happening, this same fine boy grabbed my hand and said,
“Come, let’s find shade!”
Shade? Shade ke? My dear, he dragged me like a movie hero dragging his love interest in slow motion. In my head, I was hearing soundtrack:
“Love wantintin… love wantintin…”
When we reached the corner, he looked at me and smiled that dangerous smile that turns even strong women to akara.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
No, sir. Nothing is okay. My wig was shifting like Nigeria’s exchange rate. My slippers were sliding. My dignity had clocked out.
But I just smiled and said, “I’m fine.”
From there, the conversation flowed. We laughed, we joked, we shared gist. It felt like we had known each other for years. He even used his handkerchief to clean my wet arm. Handkerchief o! In this economy.
Long story short, the moment was sweet… until Tolu reappeared from nowhere like background witch in Yoruba film and shouted,
“Let’s go! The rain has ruined everything!”
That was the end. Man vanished. Story cut. No number. No closure. No Season 2.
Every time I tell people this story, they say, “What if he was your soulmate?”
My sister, if he was, God will bring him back.
Till then, I’ll keep minding my business… and avoiding surprise rain.
