A Need for Mediocrity

I'm angry at myself—for the mediocre level I settle for.

I strive for greatness, but it's not coming fast enough. I want it now, like right now. But when I get a taste of it, I pull back. I relax, as if it's everything I ever wanted. It doesn’t take much to please me—a home, good food, some form of entertainment. And then I spend all day doing nothing until it’s gone.

Then, we’re back to mediocrity again. I struggle—or at least I tell myself I do—to attain greatness. But I guess patience is necessary for greatness to last. You have to protect it, guard it, ensure no one takes it from you.

It’s not easy. Fleeting moments of distraction and temptation creep in, and I feel it slipping, ever so slightly, from my grasp. The good thing is, it’s only for a moment. Then I regain myself. I remind myself not to forsake myself. To lock in—because this concerns my future self.

I fail to feel what I want to feel—the love of myself. But how can I love someone who lives in mediocrity? I love the self that attains greatness. That version of me is worthy of love. So every day, I strive to achieve that self.

But then, who loves my current self?

To see yourself for what you can become instead of what you are—isn’t that the essence of growth? If you don’t love this version of yourself, then change it. Strive for a better self. A great self. A self that has attained what the current self can only imagine.

And one day, that great self will become your current self. You’ll look back and see all the effort your so-called mediocre self put in to get there. And then, you’ll realize—you were always the great self.

The hard work, the discipline, the consistency—it was all done by the self you once called mediocre.

So, will you love that great self?

Or will you strive for an even greater one?

~ZT