I don’t know how to cook rather I don’t really like cooking,  my dad would say no man would stay with you if you don’t know how to make good food  no matter the amount of your degree it will be useless I. Your husband house without cooking skills at some point I started believing I will really be a useless wife and to make things worse I was really single , I thought maybe God didn’t send me a man because I won’t be able to keep him except for the unmanly. Man who keep chasing me to think that I almost married him, I believed I loved him until I decided to unlove  him and then their was nothing to unlove. I tried pushing my energy towards other things  and it worked but their was so much energy to work round the clock I mean more than enough for anything doable including man.

I wanted to hate the idea of love but I had no reason to since I was almost without a man most of the time. Without trying I will somehow find a way to push them away , was it my bad character? Or maybe I was cursed or I am not meant to find the one I deserve in fact do I deserve anything.

Their is this saying that your kind of woman attract your kind of man , I so much wanted to believe this quote  but tell me if I should after my three encounters, the men I attract .ome was a young broke student whom came for a school project and demn he was so so not attractive except he had good dressing style probably the only criteria he possessed so I gave him a chance  untill he was a  perpetual beggar can’t imagine myself taking care of my man he ways he should for me : a man who begs has no pride and a pride less man is not a husband material  I had to send him to the right victim their was no way I have money to spen on a big man .

The second scar was handsome and intelligent you know the toxic guys always have these amazing traits, I almost lost my self esteem for a minute, it was good but I couldn’t be myself around him I was always struggling to be the girl he wanted  my gosh a toxic relationship is so exhausting I messed up and am glad I did  I would have lost myself in that thing called love  and I won’t have found my third dreamer.