You know that thing one does in the spur of the moment? Like when you see a job description that mentions 'out-of-the-box' thinking? And you decide that yes! This describes me and you go ahead to apply?Well, that's how I feel now making my way for an interview for a 'Creative assistant' job I applied to. The thought of sitting in a room with people questioning my every move terrifies me and I honestly don't know what pushed me to apply for this role.

The past few months after graduating from college have been a blur. I've felt numb to the world and have drown myself in movies and doing absolutely nothing. I haven't even picked up any of my numerous hobbies the past months and that says a lot because prior to graduating I was known as the girl who could do everything; I would edit videos for the group's social media page, would create graphics and post, would bake, cook, sew, draw, paint, and so much more but yet nothing.
My friends and family have been telling me to turn one into a business but it's not as easy as it seems. There's this fear that comes with turning what you love into something to sell. You might get the validation you want but at the same time you're not sure if you will love it anymore. Everytime the thought is brought up I wonder if people would even want it or if they will care. And I know the concept of 'What if' isn't something to dwell on in situations like this especially when I'm in dire need of financial aid and I really need to leave my parents house but I guess that's just a part of me that I can't seem to shake off

As I make my way to the company, thoughts keep spiraling through my head. “What if they laugh? What if they see me as nothing?” And wondering if I'm cut out for this. This makes me more anxious than I already am. Should I turn back? Is this worth it? Should I really turn my hobbies into a business?
These thoughts still stay in my head and I sit in the room with my fellow colleagues there for the interview as we all face our interviewers. 
The questions were what I expected, yet my palms were sweating even with the carefully constructed answers I had in my head. Most questions drawing back to my major reluctance for ever applying for a job. 
"What is your experience in this industry?" and that's exactly my problem. I have no work experience. None at all, and as they murmur, eyebrows arched withexchanged tight- lipped glances at my answers, I knew I shouldn't have done this. All I saw from their faces was that I will never be good enough or wanted for something.

I make my way back home ignoring every questions asking how the interview went and stay in my room the rest of the day, and that's how I remain in bed for the next few days until an email pops up

"Miss Daisy,
Regarding your Application..."